Gretchen and I spent part of the day together on Sunday and it seems like it had been awhile since we were together because I was really sick and last week Gretchen got sick. It was the first time in a few weeks that we both felt well. It was a nice day and we walked all the way to the end of our road and down to Hutchinson farm near the railroad tracks. We came home and Mom had dinner ready and we ate goulash which is Gretchens favorite meal when she comes over to the ranch. Most importantly we finally got to kiss again and I really enjoy kissing her so much that I didn't want to stop, but Dad came to my room and said that Gretchens Mom was outside. Gretchen says that she tells her Mom almost everyday that she doesn't want to leave California and her Mom says that she misses her friends in New Mexico and she wants to go back before summer. I told her that maybe she could live with us and she just gave me a look that made it seem like what I said was nice but kind of silly. I said that it may be silly but "it never hurts to try", as Grandpa says. I feel like that I think about Gretchen way too often and I miss her a lot when I don't see her for a couple days and her Mom goes out a lot so Gretchen has to babysit all the time.
I asked my Mom what to do about my feelings for Gretchen and how I never want her to leave even though she may have to. Mom said that the hard part of life is losing people that you care about whether they die or just move away and that it is something that "never gets easier no matter how old you get". I said "that isn't really helping me Mom" and she said that sometimes what people need is just to feel loved and as long as you feel that way no matter how much it hurts if she leaves that "love conquers all and no matter how far away someone is, they are always with you". That kind of made me feel a little better, but not enough to make me feel like I did at the movie theater on Valentines day. "Being enamored with someone is the best feeling in the world", Mom said. Is that mean "in love" I said and she said "something like that". She said that it is best to "keep focused on the things you love in life", but that you have to be careful not to "put all your eggs in one basket". Mom then said that she has noticed that I don't talk about writing as much anymore and she hasn't seen me write at the kitchen table as often lately. "I know" I said, "but I have been reading more..." "and talking on the phone with Gretchen" Mom interrupted. She then suggested that I write letters to Gretchen so that I combine two things that I love. I said that I would but that I like the sound of her voice too much. "Its ok" Mom said "but don't forget about how much you like to write. That's all I am saying". "I love you Jem", she said "and anytime you feel bad, I will always be here." I told her "Thank you and I love you too".

"Enamored", means "in love with, infatuated with, besotted with, smitten with, captivated by, enchanted by, fascinated by, bewitched by, beguiled by; keen on, taken with; informal mad about, crazy about, wild about, bowled over by, stuck on, hot for, sweet on, carrying a torch for, moonstruck by; literary ensorcelled by" and an example of its use is "she was secretly enamored of the prince".

The painting is by Kate McCullough