Hello to the whole world from "the Boy"!

I know it has been a while since I have written, but I went through some tough times and I gave up writing for awhile, which made my teachers a little upset. My new counselor, Mr. Todd, gave me some advice to start expressing my feelings by writing, but not showing it to anyone. So for awhile I followed exactly what he said. This was after I came back from a shortened trip to writing camp. Dad had to pick me up early because I was so upset about Grandpa and Gretchen that I wrote some things that made some people worried about me so they called my dad. I guess after that I felt really bad about everything, including my writing and school and didn't want to do anything. My parents decided to send me to counseling and that didn't work because I wouldn't say anything to Mrs. Birch, so I stopped going. Dad kept me home from school for one whole week in October and allowed me to sleep a lot and to watch the leaves fall off the trees at our ranch. Some people said that my parents were being silly, but he let me anyways and even let me watch a lot of t.v. After my week off, Dad told me about this new counselor, Mr. Todd, and how he helped Dad's friend David's daughter Wendy after her Mom died. So, I started going to see Mr. Todd and he got me writing again to myself and then finally said that I should write to other people.
Losing people that you love is really hard and that part of you that was changed because of those people also goes away. Losing Grandpa Jem made me empty because everyday I looked forward to talking to him and even though he was sometimes too tired he would always tell me a story or ask about my life or just make me laugh. What hurt more was that when Gretchen moved away, I didn't have Grandpa to talk to and to get advice from to make me feel better. It hurt like nothing I had ever felt before and I just didn't know how to feel better. Dad says that it is also a tough time because my body is changing too and that it was a bad time for my "whole world to change" too. What made matters worse is that Tom's parents took him out of our school and have sent him to school in town back in September. They thought Tom wasn't learning anything and even though he didn't want to leave he had no choice. I might end up joining him someday soon because I guess some people in town want to shut down my school and there is a lot of stressed out people coming in and out of the school lately. Mr. Grady won't tell me much, but he and other teachers have said that we should all write down exactly everything we are learning so we can prove to those people in town that are school is good and that we are all learning a lot. Somebody said it is because our math scores are low and that proves we aren't learning anything. That made me mad because what I learn at school goes way beyond Math. I am learning so much about how to be a good writer and Dad says that they don't really seem to care how great I write a story just "how well I can read directions and follow them". I said that Math is hard "because the directions don't make sense".
Anyway, if I had to go to the big school in town, I would be really unhappy and now because of that I really love going to my small school again and have met some new friends and will be going to Death Valley next month and to Catalina Island in the spring. I love field trips and wish I could go somewhere every week!
Well I guess things could be better, but I have learned lately that they can always be worse. So, I must go for now and work on my fractions.
Till next time,
Jem Bigsky III